Have you ever been to a train, metro, subway, or tube station during rush hour? So many people. So many signs. So many stairs. Welcome to my head.
My noggin has become Penn Station during rush hour. Over crowded. It’s as if there are hundreds of bees buzzing around inside my head. Have you ever had that? So much on your mind that you can feel your brain vibrate?
I purchased a binder to keep my future paper work. I made a list. I drew a flowchart in a notebook. I tried Trello. I switched to Google Docs. There was trail of post-its that had come unstuck. My browser’s bookmark list looks like it barfed. My head hurt. My nails no longer exist. Then I found Google Keep, my life jacket.
I have been able to create reminders and to do lists. I can pin websites and add notes. I even set up a label system so I can find save information and notes by category and site. I can even color coordinate! I now have all of my research and notes in one location. I no longer have to run across the station in a panic trying to find the track my brain was running on the day before.
I made rules. I set time limits, so I wouldn’t fall down a rabbit hole. So I could turn my brain off.
My brain is full. I am overwhelmed. Anxiety is creeping in.
Am I organized enough? Did I research enough? Have I read the correct books? Have I spoken to enough people? Are these the right steps? Will our profile stand out? Am I horrible for thinking this? Will I be judged for not trying fertility treatments first? Will I be considered too old? Will we be liked? Will we be chosen? Will we be successful? The drones are getting out of control. I think I need to breathe.
This is a Daily Prompt: Swarm post.