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I’ll get a tall instead of a grande. I will have oatmeal instead of a doughnut. I will start the diet on Monday. It’s only a quick search. The odds are forever not in your favor.

Five hours later you’re still on the couch hunched over your laptop. Eyes dry. Back hurts. Fingers cramped. There’s a half empty peanut butter pretzel tub at your feet you don’t remember opening. Your cell is buzzing furiously. You really have pee. Sound familiar?


That happened to me every time I hopped on Pinterest during our wedding planning. That was also me trying to find out why my python code had me stuck in an error loop. That was me again, a couple of weeks ago, when I first started researching adoption.

Entering one innocent word into an internet search can take you down a wibbly-wobbly time-suck.  Sometimes the abundance of material found is worth your eyes feeling like they are bleeding. Other times you are led down a wormhole of bad advice.  You come out the other side convinced you are dying because someone on the internet suggested you were.

Lucky for me this has only happened a couple of times recently. I seem to have an alternative route for now. Knock on wood.

Most of my  early searching seemed to suggest I was better off reading a book instead of the world wide web.  I admit snapping up a horde of books. I say the more the merrier! Especially, if you are a Kindle Unlimited member. Just saying.

My digital pile consists of an assortment of books written from different perspectives. Adoptive Parents, Adoption lawyers, Adoption experts, etc.  I think I chose a good mix.

I am working my way through a few Foster to Adopt books right now, but here are a few of the ones I completed. I got the most out of these:

  • The Complete Adoption Book, Third Edition by Laura Beauvais-Godwin and Raymond Godwin, Esq. (It really is everything.)
  • 99 Things You Wish You Knew Before Choosing Adoption by Robert A. Kasky, Esq and Jeffrey A. Kasky, Esq (They illustrated with real life examples and Florida law)
  • Hoping to Adopt: How to Create the Ideal Adoption Profile by Russell Elkins (Written in a personal voice.  He explains the how by illustrating with his story.)
  • 10 Adoption Essentials: What You Need to Know About Open Adoption by Russell Elkins
  • Open Adoption, Open Heart by  Russell Elkins (The story of his son’s adoption)

I have gone back to the  internet armed with a better idea of how to narrow down my researching. I no longer dive in and hope to come up for air with some reliable websites. Here are a few that I flagged. The information seems to reinforce what I have learned from the books so far.

Tomorrow I will order the grande instead of the tall.  I will stare at the doughnut, but order the oatmeal. Maybe I will start the diet on Monday. It wont be a quick search, but it will be an organized one.  I won’t ignore my phone. I won’t forget to pee.  I will finish the peanut butter pretzels.